My First 2 Tattoo Experiences

Hey Everybody! The title of this post is self-explanatory, but I’m going to be speaking about my overall first experiences of getting tattooed; where I went, what I got, why I got it, and a ton of other things involving that.

Obviously everyone’s experiences are different and will be different, but I’m going to share with you guys how it was for me both times.

I really wanted to be able to document the first time I got tattooed, but it was so in the moment, that I completely forgot and by the time I thought about it, it was over. So, I’m going to be incorporating my first and second one in this.

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Firstly, I just want to start off by saying that I’ve always been interested in tattoos, like the artistic-ness of it, the meanings behind certain ones, etc. BUT, I really never thought I would ever be the type to want and/or get any. For a LONG time, I never even considered it. Like are you crazy?! Going through that pain, inking my body like that and having to literally live with it for the rest of my life!?! Naw, not for me, sorry….

However, I think that drastically changed (obviously lol) in the past year. I would say what really pushed me to get my first one, was when Spencer passed away almost a year ago (my cat who I wrote an entire post about and will leave linked here in case you wanted to check it out). It took me a while to really push myself to go and get it, but I knew that, for myself, I wanted and needed to do it for him.

I was researching like crazy, looking up ideas for what I wanted and trying to plan the entire thing out so it could be perfect. It was about a month after he passed that I settled on what exactly I wanted (which is pictured below).

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I finally ended up getting it on June 16, 2018.

I settled on what I wanted about a month after he passed away, but didn’t actually end up getting it done until about 6-7 months after I settled on it. There’s a variety of reasons for this, but mainly because of the nerves I had about it all.

I actually kind of got lucky because a friend of mine who I’ve literally known since I was a kid, is a tattoo artist, and so once I finally settled on what I wanted, I contacted her and she completely talked me through the whole thing and settled my nerves TREMENDOUSLY. Even on the day of, she was talking me through everything, answered every single question I had from the amount of pain I may be feeling, to the equipment she was using, etc. It was SO comforting and an overall great experience.

The name of the girl I went to is Shamalee Delacruz (her Instagram name is @tatubuny if you live in New York and wanted to check her and her work out, which you guys totally should). She is such a sweet person, and her work is really great. She’s so great at detail and making sure you get EXACTLY what it is you want, which is obviously extremely important when getting a tattoo. So I 100% recommend her if you’re considering getting any sort of tattoo work done.

I obviously spoke about the general meaning of it, as in who it was dedicated to, but to be more “specific”, my first one is just saying that Spencer will always be apart of me, in my heart. As for the placement of that tattoo, I got it on my wrist because it was somewhere that I knew I would always be able to see it. So now, whenever I miss him or anything, I just always look down, see it there and it always weirdly makes me feel better.

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So that was my first tattoo, which I got back in June. For my second one, which I just got done 2 days ago, I went to Shamalee again and got something that was extremely deep in meaning and important to me.

It always feels weird to talk about this one, just because it’s not something that I’m like trying to brag about to people, and I also just don’t generally talk about it much to anyone that isn’t super close to me (although I am trying to get better at being more vocal about it).

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Ultimately, the second one I got has to do with mental health. I’ve briefly spoken about it a few times on my blog before, but for those of you that are new and/or just didn’t know, I suffer from anxiety and depression. It’s something that I think I’ve always sort of dealt with throughout my life, but only recently did it start to get worse and really make me realize how real it is. This is something in my life that I’m probably always going to have to deal with, and if you know me, you know that I’m a fighter. But, when I have bad days, I have REALLY bad days, which I don’t always like to admit because of how intense it is, but the thought of suicide does come to mind every now and than. And I really don’t at all mean to say that light-heartedly, but it’s the truth, and because of that I decided to get this tattoo.

For those of you that don’t know, in literature, a semi-colon is used when an author could’ve ended a sentence, but chose not to. In this case, specifically, the author is myself and the sentence is my life. Something so tiny, yet so meaningful and impactful. So that’s the meaning of the semi-colon itself, as for the birds, I’ve just ALWAYS been obsessed with little bird tattoos for some reason, I think they’re so cute and just add more meaning to most tattoos. With that, a bird usually symbolizes freedom and perspective. See the finished product below.

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Got this one done on Saturday, September 29th.

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For both times, it was the weirdest thing because the days leading up to me actually getting them, I was nervous as hell. But the day of and throughout the entire process, I was strangely calm. Partly I’m sure because of how comfortable Shamalee made me, and I guess the other part is just because I knew how much they both meant to me and how badly I wanted them.

Which now leads me to one of the most important aspects of getting tattooed that most people wonder about….the pain. And rightfully so considering you should know more or less exactly what you’re getting yourself into before doing it. Now, as I mentioned earlier, everyone’s experience is and will be different, which means that everyone’s pain tolerance is different. Personally, being that I had never done anything remotely close to this before, I was pretty much going in blind since I had no form of reference for how much “pain” or not I was going to be in. The place that I got both my tattoos (the wrist area) is supposed to be an extremely sensitive spot for them; as in, it’s typically suppose to be more painful, especially since my second one kind of wraps around my wrist onto my bone. But personally, it really didn’t hurt much at all. It really just felt like hard, repetitive pinching….is that weird? Just me? Okay then….

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Overall, for both of my tattoos, I had two (thankfully) great and easy going experiences and healing processes.

And to be honest, I’m already addicted and planning what I might…..probably…..most likely will be getting next….don’t judge me!! 🌚

Anyway guys, that’s it for this post. Those were my first 2 tattoo experiences. I really hope that you guys enjoyed it. Leave me a comment down below or write to me on social media about what your first tattoo experience(s) were like, I’d love to hear from you about it! 😀

Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you guys in my next one.

*Special thanks again to Shamalee for doing this for me and making me feel super comfortable throughout it all, and for doing exactly what I wanted! As well as Diego for taking these great pictures! ❤ *

-Xoxo, Leo Girl ❤

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A Letter to Those People That Are No Longer Apart of My Life

To whom it may apply,

Truthfully, there is no real reason for me to have to sit here and explain myself or my actions to anyone, but out of courtesy, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while, and feel like I want to do.

There is also no reason for me to apologize for the decisions I’ve made unless it’s actually harmed anyone in any way, which, I highly doubt has happened. However, I feel like there are some things I want and need to get off my chest for the reasoning behind these actions which I’ll express in this letter.

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As I’ve mentioned several times in some of my previous posts recently, I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I’ve realized that I no longer have time for taking and/or dealing with crap from anyone; whether you are a friend, family, or even from passing strangers. And because I’ve made that realization, it’s forced me to make the conscious decision to have to cut all of the “dead weight”, so to speak, out of my life, that which includes some people and things that have been with me for YEARS.

If you happen to be one of those people, I do to some extent want to apologize because I realize that for some, it may have been or seemed sudden and out of nowhere. I’m not apologizing for me actually doing it, but the way that I did it. And although it may have seemed sudden to some, for me, it had most likely been building up for a number of months, if not years.

If you know me, you know that I tend to stay quiet for a lot, and if I’m your friend and/or an important person or part of your life, I will be there for you through thick and thin, no matter what. You can call me, text me, etc. and I’ll be there for you without question. My point in bringing this up is that because I’m like that, it takes A LOT (believe it or not) for me to finally give up and walk away from someone.

That being said, believe it or not for some of you that I’ve cut out, it wasn’t the easiest decision to make…Some of you that had been apart of my life for more than 10+ years. Some that we started out school together way back when. Some that I had been there for through some really serious shit; family stuff, relationship stuff, etc. But as time went on, and I started to be more hyperaware of all of the people and things around me, and where I knew I wanted to be with my life, I realized that my perception on a lot of these people and things had changed, because their actions towards me and their general habits were speaking louder then anything else.

None of them were going the extra mile for me, as I had with them. None of them would reach out to me, the way I did with them. And none of them would be there for me when I needed it, the same way I was with them. As a result, I started distancing myself, little by little. Those people started seeing and hearing from me less and less until it got to a point where they didn’t hear from me at all. Which was ironic because when I did to them what they did to me, they didn’t like it and would get upset with me about it, which made my decision to cut them out THAT much easier.

It was a harsh realization for me, but something that I knew had to be done in order for me to benefit myself and my future. I knew deep down that if I kept these people in my life that weren’t benefiting and/or lifting me up in anyway, that they were just going to end up holding me back later on down the line. Is that selfish? Probably, but in a healthy selfish way, I think.

Please trust, that if you REALLY knew me, you would’ve known that I never do anything to get anything in return; whether that’s materialistically or otherwise…BUT if you were a good, TRUE friend in general, out of courtesy and respect, you would’ve done for me everything that I had for you.

And to reiterate what I said in the beginning, I am sorry to some extent, because maybe the way I went about it all wasn’t exactly “the right way,” as in not saying anything, and just distancing myself, and I should’ve spoken to you about it. But, in my mind at the time, not only did I think that it was the easiest way to do it all, but I didn’t think it needed to be said, because any decent person would do for others what they wanted and expected other people that they consider ‘friends’ to do for them.

Truthfully, I just needed to do what was best for myself, because I’ve learned that not everyone is going to have the same mentality as me, and/or want the same things as me. Some people are just content with everything that they have at the moment and don’t care to do or want more, which is okay in its own way.

Just to be clear, I’m saying all of this now and it may or may not seem as if I’m upset and/or hurt by all of this, I mean I was, but please do not doubt that I am so beyond over all of this. I’ve made peace with everything that’s gone on. I’ve closed those chapters of my life, and am not holding any grudges towards any of those people or things, but I’m simply just telling “my side” of things.

Some people and things are just not meant to be permanent in your life, and I’ve come to make peace with that. It is unfortunate at times, but it’s all in God’s plan for us.

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I hope to some, this was some sort of form of closure, although who even knows if you actually want, need it or care. And to others, I just hope it means we can peacefully close that chapter, put it behind us and move on with our lives without issue and/or drama. There is no bad blood. There is no “tea to be spilled.” There is no drama or “beef”. There is nothing but the memories of what was and what currently is.

**Note: This letter was not in any way a form of singling out any particular person, but actually, I had a variety of people in mind when writing this which there is no need to mention them, because they most likely know who they are, and if they don’t that’s fine too.**

Sincerely,

Emily Hernandez

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It’s My 1-Year Blogiversary!

I cannot BELIEVE it’s already been a year since I first started my blog. Happy 1-year Blogiversary to me! 😀 Time really flew by.

This time last year I was just starting out at my first job right out of college (that I’m still currently at) and starting my blog in the same week, and now here I am about to make a year with that as well.

So much has happened this past year, good and bad. So many things have been accomplished, and so many lessons have been learned. It’s really been one helluva a year; whether or not that’s meant to be said in a good way is still to be determined, but regardless here we are!

By now it’s been almost a week since my birthday, and I thought I would update you on where I’m at now in my life, with my blog and what I hope to do in the future.

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If you follow me on social media (which, if you don’t you totally should!), you would’ve seen that I was posting like crazy last weekend for my birthday; pictures, videos, etc. Some of just myself or with my family or with Diego or with friends.

Ultimately, I really didn’t do anything CRAZY, but the little things I DID do (or had done for me) were so cute and fun.

I turned 23 years old last Friday, and something about it really sparked something in me, almost like an epiphany so to speak.

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If you’re one of my dedicated readers that have been consistently reading my stuff since the beginning and more so recently, you’ve probably seen that these past few weeks have been kind of rough. I’ve felt really lost and alone and like I didn’t really know what I was doing with my life.

But, something about my birthday last weekend really changed that, which I’m sure sounds kind of crazy, because how can things just change from one day to the next right? But it’s true.

I felt a sort of happiness and confidence that I hadn’t felt in SUCH a long time. And if you know me, you know that I don’t typically get excited for my birthday because there’s always something that happens which kind of ruins it, but more so this year I definitely was NOT looking forward to it.

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There was a few different reasons for me feeling this way, but overall I just wasn’t expecting anything to be done for it since everyone was going to be busy (or the important people I wanted around anyway) and/or doing their own thing.

However, it ended up being such an amazing overall weekend filled with surprises left and right from my parents, Diego and my brother that I did not expect, but am super appreciative for.

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Anyway, where I was getting with that is that through all of this and all of the surprises, pictures, etc. I felt this sudden sense of confidence within myself. Something about my birthday this year and turning a year older that made me feel really good about where I’m at with my life and told me that everything was going to be okay. I can’t even fully explain the feeling or thoughts I had surrounding this, but this is as descriptive as I can get about it.

It made me feel like this upcoming year, and the years to come, were going to be good ones. It gave me a sort of push in a way, I guess you can say, because it made me want to do SO many things differently, start so many things, push to do more of certain things, etc.

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That being said, I just really want to take a second and thank every one of my followers (whether you’re family, a friend or a complete stranger) for always reading my stuff. It really does mean a lot. And it means even more when I get feedback from you guys about my posts; what you liked, how you related to it, etc.

I’ve always said since the very beginning that this is an open space for not only myself, but you guys as my followers, and that if I can do one thing with my blog and writing in general, it would be to try making a difference somehow. To talk about things that people might not typically speak about. To have someone/something for you guys to relate to with some of your own possible personal issues or experiences, and so on.

I’ve been saying this for a while, but I think this year is really going to be a good one. This year is going to be solely dedicated to making myself happy and healthy; focusing on my writing, reading more, traveling more, etc.

I don’t think anything is as important to me as my writing and the way I feel about it. I’m feeling so much more comfortable with my writing and being able to put my stuff out there, so I can’t wait for you guys to see my future posts.

Thank you to those of you that have actually always supported me and my writing, and I am SO excited to see where this next year is going to take me with my blog and writing in general…. stay tuned! 😉

Until my next post….

-Xoxo, Leo Girl ❤

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