Today’s post is actually one that was requested for Diego and I to do.
For those of you that don’t know, we’ve actually been together as a couple for 4 years (4 years and 3, almost 4, months technically).
**Let me know if you guys would be interested in seeing an entire post dedicated to how we met, got together, etc.**
That being said, we got asked to do a post where we mention the 5 biggest things that we think are needed and/or that we do to keep our relationship going strong all this time, so that’s what we’re doing today.
And by no means with us doing this post, does that mean that we have the ‘perfect relationship’, because we definitely do not. But, we have been together 4 years and the things we are going to mention are things that we’ve come to realize have been EXTREMELY important in us maintaining our relationship for as long as we have.
Also, some of the things we are going to mention did not just happen overnight. It took time for us to really learn and understand how to do these things and get better with them as well to build the strong relationship that we have now at the moment (not perfect, but definitely strong).
In other words, if you’re going to be reading these things and thinking, hoping or expecting for results right away, you’re PROBABLY going to end up being disappointed. Take everything we’re going to mention with a grain of salt, find out how these things can work for you and work towards that. Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither will any sort of relationship(s)!!
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- Communication. 100% NOT the first time I’ve mentioned this before, and will definitely not be the last. COMMUNICATION IS E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G in a relationship!!! Cliche? Sorry, but it’s the truth. There’s no way of having a real relationship without it. Without communication how would you ever be able to express yourself and how you’re feeling whether positive or negative? If you and your significant other can’t talk about everything from the good to the bad and the ugly, then maybe you guys shouldn’t be together. And don’t get me wrong, this is one of those things that definitely takes time to master in a relationship. Diego and I still struggle with this every so often because we can both be hard-headed and stubborn, but we’ve gotten A LOT better with it, and this is definitely a key aspect in our (and any) relationship.
2. Compromise. This is another big one. Things are not always going to go your way in a relationship, neither will it always go your significant other’s way. So, if either of you are used to that from previous relationships, you need to throw that mentality out the window. Any true, meaningful relationship has to have compromise in it. If you want to go somewhere on a date that has a specific type of food that you like, and your significant other wants to go somewhere that has completely different options, then you guys need to speak about it and come to a common understanding that maybe one weekend you’ll go to where you want to, then the next weekend you guys will go somewhere he/she likes, OR you find a place that has the type of foods you both like (random example, but you guys get the point lol).
3. Trust/Understanding. Everyone at some point or another has probably been hurt and/or burned from a previous relationship, fling, etc. However, it’s important to understand the current person that you’re with. Chances are if they act certain ways in certain situations of your guys relationship, it’s for a reason. I know many people tend to have a certain mentality and believe that with any new relationship(s) you shouldn’t speak about your past or exes, but I don’t necessarily feel like that’s true, although I will say it does depend on the person you’re with currently, which only you can be the judge of. When Diego and I first got together, I remember one particular night where we were talking about that stuff for HOURS, but it was really just to better understand each other, the things we had both been through and knew we didn’t want to happen in our current relationship.
As for trusting the person, if you don’t trust them, what’s the point of being with them? I know better than anyone what it’s like to be hurt/broken from previous relationships, but you have to some extent keep that out and away from your current relationship, because this is a completely different person, completely different situation and circumstance, etc. Will the thought(s) of it possibly happening again be there? Of course, but you have a right to voice that to your significant other to have them understand your concerns. Besides, that’s also what the ‘talking stage’ before your relationship is for, to determine whether or not you think this person will do the same things your ex did or whether or not you can trust this person enough to actually start a relationship with them.
Obviously the instances I mentioned are predominantly for the beginning stages of a relationship, but I think it goes without saying that it should be continued throughout the rest of your relationship as well.
4. Love. Probably the most obvious one of them all. Like duh, right? But you’d be surprised how many people end up staying with a person for years and years and years just because they feel comfortable and not actually because of loving the person. Being with one person for SO long is not going to be easy, whether it’s just dating or being married to them, but you have to make sure the spark is still there and ‘alive’ in order to really make things work. It’s definitely not always going to be perfect and happy, but it’s a two-way street to make sure that you’re keeping things alive and exciting from physical to the recreational stuff between you two. I tell people that I know all the time that if you’re not IN LOVE with a person, then let them go, because you’re holding them and yourself back from finding the real love of your life, and that’s not fair to either of you. Don’t stay with someone because of comfort or guilt, stay with them because they truly make you happy, you’re in love with them and they actually DO something for you.
5. And lastly, To Have Fun. Your relationship should not be super serious to the point where it not only feels like a job to keep it going, but it’s just not fun anymore. A relationship IS work, but it’s supposed to be fun and loving at the same time. If you guys aren’t having fun with each other, making each other laugh about the corniest things, or enjoying the simplest of things with one another, then why bother? Your significant other is supposed to be your best friend and someone you can tell everything to and know you’re always going to laugh and have fun with.
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Do not get discouraged if these things don’t seem to work for you and your relationship right away. It’s going to take time, but if you really love and care about a person, then you will find a way to make it work (and vice versa with the person on the opposite end of the relationship).
I realize that it’s not always going to be sunshine and daisies throughout your relationship, but we think by having these things be some of the core things to follow in your relationship, then the good and happy times should definitely end up outweighing the bad ones.
I hope this was helpful to you guys in some way, shape or form especially the person who requested to see this post 🙂
Leave me a comment down below or through social media about other posts you guys would like to see and I’ll be sure to make it happen at some point or another. Thanks so much for reading. Please like, share and follow if you haven’t already, and I’ll see you guys in my next post!
-Xoxo, Leo Girl ❤