It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these spur of the moment, impromptu, what’s going on with me lately, type posts.
I figure today could be one of those posts because I’ve got SO much stuff running through my mind at the moment that I wanted to share a bit with you guys, so I guess that’s what I’m going to be doing.
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So, where to begin?….
I guess I can start off with the way I’ve been feeling since we’ve gotten back from our trip.
The first couple of days were genuinely tough, not only because of the jet-lag that I was dealing with, but also because of the vacation withdrawals I was going through.
Vacation withdrawals are a VERY real thing; some people take it serious and some just brush it off because they know that they’ve enjoyed their time during the vacation, and now it’s over, and that’s okay. But for me, it REALLY sucked when it was over.
I guess because it was the first trip I had gone on in SUCH a long time, I was planning it for SO long and it was the first trip that I had ever completely paid for and planned on my own. We had such an amazing time and were so care-free while over there, it was great.
And then we came back to reality and went back to our normal routines, which is fine because that’s what’s supposed to happen, but it made me realize that I don’t really like my normal routine, and I know I can be doing SO much more.
I went back to working both jobs that take up AT LEAST 75% of my time most days, which I’m VERY grateful to have because some people aren’t as lucky, BUT neither of them are what I REALLY want to be doing…
It left me thinking a lot lately about why I’m giving so much of my time and energy to these things that leave me with little to no free-time for myself to be working on the things that actually matter to me? Obviously I need to work, and obviously I need money. However, why continue to give all this time and energy to these things that are in no way, shape, or form adding real meaning to my life nor my career??
*I’m predominantly referring to my second job, not my primary one, btw.*
Doing this, I’ve quickly realized, is actually what’s sucking the energy, motivation and creativity away from me. It’s leaving me exhausted all of the time, and is what’s forcing me to have lack of motivation to do anything but rest really.
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My writing and blog are SO important to me, and because of all this, it’s caused me to have writer’s block more so than what I normally would have. I know the type of things I want to write and talk about, but I’ve been second guessing myself SO much recently and don’t actually know or feel like they’re interesting enough to publish on my site.
I’m such a perfectionist and have such high expectations for myself that it’s hard for me to actually put myself and my writing out there sometimes when I don’t feel like it’s my best, and this just adds on to it since I feel like I’m not really giving it my all.
I mean, who wants to post just to post? Not me.
I want to make sure that if I’m posting and putting myself out there, it’s because I’m giving you guys my best.
I’m also well-aware that I’ve got no one to blame but myself for this, because I’m the one who chose to pick up a second job, and money-wise it’s been okay, but at what cost?
I’m past the point of doing these things and jobs that don’t mean much to me. I want and need to start focusing more on finding things that make me happy and continue to be an asset to my life as well as my creativity.
I want to be happy doing the work that I am, and although I was content with these things, jobs, etc. for a while, I’m realizing more and more that it’s time to take a step back from all of that (while being smart about it obviously), and really begin to look for and do work in the specific field that I want.
That being said, I’m making the executive decision to make some big changes in my life in the coming weeks/months.
I don’t know exactly what all of them will be and how I’m going to go about them, but even if I did, I don’t think it would be the best and/or smartest thing to do to tell you guys them just yet (I’m sort of superstitious in that sense). Once they become more final, I will be sure to share them with you guys as much as I can and bring you guys along in my journey as I’ve always promised that I would!!
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On a separate and somewhat more POSITIVE note, I’ve really been trying my best since coming back to keep myself as busy as possible with the fun and more creative stuff that I like to do like with my blog, planning other trips/events and shooting more content for my Instagram.
I told myself (as well as Diego since he is my photographer) that I want and need to be more consistent when it comes to my content on Instagram. Social media isn’t everything, but it is and I think always will be a BIG portion of where my following comes from, so it is very much true what people tend to say, that consistency IS key. So there’s that.
I’ve also seriously been considering more and more recently creating a YouTube channel.
This really isn’t anything new and is actually something I’ve been saying I want to try doing for a while now, but I don’t know….lately I’ve been watching a TON of different videos which has been inspiring me more and more to want to finally do it.
I need to figure a few more things out as far as how I’m going to have the separation between creating enjoyable content for you guys both for my blog here and on the channel, but let’s see…….LeoGirl could be coming to YouTube soon, who knows? 😏 stay tuned for that.
And finally, Diego and I have a few things coming up soon that are pretty exciting. Nothing that’s too through the roof and extravagant, but a few things that are really fun and exciting for us that I can’t wait for you guys to see, INCLUDING a very possible trip for my own birthday in August…..🤪, it’s still in the works, but remember what I told you guys, when I really want and/or put my mind to something, I will ALWAYS find a way to make it happen 😇.
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I’m really trying to remain positive because I know all of this that I’ve been feeling lately is only temporary, but I wanted to share it with you guys in hopes that it’ll show you if you’re feeling the same way at all (about any of these things), that you are not alone.
It’s a sucky feeling to have in the moment, but unfortunately that’s life, and it happens. The only thing we can do is try to think ahead and hope that we can find solutions to these things and/or have things to look forward to before it gets us down.
Regardless, I hope you guys enjoyed this post. Please like, share, follow and comment, and I’ll see you guys in my next one.
-Xoxo, LeoGirl ❤