Life Update: What’s Really Been Going On

Hey guys,

I hope you’re all doing well and staying safe throughout everything that has been going on in the world recently.

Life has been really crazy, and I’m not even just talking about with quarantine anymore…..but that’s a conversation for another day.

I wanted to make this post today to be honest with you guys and let you in on what’s been going on with me recently. I made a YouTube video talking all about it a few days ago which I’ll leave linked here if you want to check it out.

I wanted to be able to make a blog post talking about it because I know I sort of have a different type of audience here then I do on my other platforms and that parts of my audience would rather read then watch videos on things like this, so here we are.

I know in my previous blog posts I had mentioned how I was really content throughout our time in quarantine and actually really enjoyed it and was getting a ton of work done, but I guess deep down, that wasn’t true at all.

My guess is that although originally I was content in the beginning and okay with being home all this time, the more time I spent at home, the more it started to get to me….

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About a month ago on May 14th, I suffered from what I can only assume was my first panic attack. It was a random Thursday afternoon at about 5pm, I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary other than working like I always did, when suddenly I started to feel really weird internally. I started to feel lightheaded and almost like my heart rate was dropping. So, I went into the kitchen to see and talk to my mom in hopes that it would distract me and the feeling would go away, because I figured that I was probably just sitting in front of my computer for too long. When I got up, I felt slightly worse, and I told my mom what I was feeling, that it felt like I could barely breath and like I was going to pass out at any minute (thankfully I didn’t though). We weren’t really sure what was happening so all we did was have me drink really cold water and throw some cold water on my face and neck. After I just walked up and down my driveway to get some air and stretch my legs…..that was the first episode. It went away shortly after that, but it was the  official start of me having anxiety.

The next serious/scary episode was about 3 days later when my mom and I decided to take a little walk to this store nearby our house. Well that “little walk” ended up turning into a 5 mile one when we decided to walk to this Target that’s about 20 minutes more or less away. The walk going was nice, we took our time and just enjoyed it all, but once we actually got to the Target, everything changed…we got there and the line to get in was a little ridiculous, but people were telling us that it was going relatively quick, so we decided to wait about 5-10 minutes on line and see how far we got. As SOON as we got to the back of the line, I immediately started to feel almost exactly how I did on Thursday, and like I was going to pass out. I obviously got very nervous since we were in a very public place and it was just mom and I. Within 2 minutes, I ended up telling my mom that we should just go, so we did. I honestly don’t even know how I managed to get home. The whole walk home was miserable, my chest was tight, I was lightheaded and my right arm started to feel numb-ish. It was all just very scary. We finally ended up getting home, and again, everything ended up being somewhat okay and going away.

The days following this one were on and off…..one day I would feel anxious and uneasy, the next, I was fine. The whole thing was just really scary because who ever wants to feel like they can’t breath, even if it is all mental? The more it happened, the more freaked out and anxious I was throughout the day; constantly feeling nervous, constantly feeling my heart area to make sure that it WAS beating, etc. It was even scarier not knowing WHY any of this was happening. We had our guesses, but we had no way to know for sure.

Due to the circumstances of COVID-19, relatively everything was still closed at the time, and the last thing we wanted to do was go all the way to the hospital with all of this going on, if it wasn’t serious,  AND rack up a ridiculous hospital bill for the check-up. However, the Tuesday following Memorial Day weekend , we were FINALLY able to get an appointment with my primary physician. It was the most exciting and nerve-racking thing. Exciting because I was FINALLY going to find out if something was wrong, but nerve-racking because what if something WAS wrong and serious?

Sure enough, thank GOD, my doctor checked all the important stuff (my heart, lungs, stomach and blood pressure) and everything internally was fine to him. Although he’s not a therapist in any way, shape or form, based off of everything I was telling him that I felt, he basically confirmed what we were all assuming it was, which was stress and anxiety.

As soon as we left the doctor I almost instantly felt a wave of relief. Yes, it still sucked that I was feeling and going through all of these things, but unbelievably relieved to know that it was nothing seriously wrong with me internally. It also almost entirely confirmed what we assumed it was, so we were then able to actually look into things and treatments for anxiety. It gave us some type of clarity.

Ever since than, I’ve been doing research like crazy online, readings books about it, and looking for recommendations for how to help my anxiety.

It’s been a little over a month now that I’ve been dealing with this, and although it can be really scary, there are good and bad days, and I can honestly say that things haven’t been anywhere near as bad as they were when it all started. I think I’m finally getting a handle on this.

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I want to apologize because I almost feel like I lied to you guys about how I was feeling in my previous posts, but it wasn’t my intention. I genuinely felt like I was content and okay with being home working all this time, but deep down like I said, I wasn’t. I guess between quarantine from the virus and everything else going on in the news/world, it really started to get to me.

It got so bad that I couldn’t focus on my work, and I was barely eating and sleeping. Anxiety can be such a scary thing if you don’t know or learn how to control it. It makes you feel like you’re losing yourself and you have no control of getting yourself back.

In my next post, I’m going to be sharing with you guys some of the things that have been helping me cope/ease my mind and anxiety for the past month, so make sure you stay tuned for that.

I hope this post was informative and gave you guys a better sense of where I’ve been and how I’ve really been doing. It’s been really hard, and it’s kind of felt like I’ve lost myself in the past month or so, but everyday I’m working towards getting better, stronger and healthier again, and I can’t wait for the day that I can finally say I’m 100% feeling myself again.

It was also really important for me to share this with you guys in hopes of it possibly inspiring someone else to come out with their story and showing them that they’re not alone. I know that was a major issue for me when this all started was that I felt really emotional and alone, because I could explain it a million different times to a million different people, but them knowing that I’m healthy and never actually experiencing it for themselves, they’ll never really understand. So, if you happen to be someone going through this as well, please feel free to comment below or reach out to me privately so we can talk about it and connect. I would love to hear from you guys about it.

Thanks you guys for reading and following me on this new little journey of mine. I hope you continue to stick around and hopefully see a better me soon.

-Xoxo, LeoGirl ❤

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What’s In My Travel Bag?

Hi Guys!! 😀

Today’s post is going to be all about what’s in my travel (cosmetic) bag!

I cannot BELIEVE how fast time is flying by, and how close we’re getting to the trip now. T-minus 7 days!! Ahhh we’re so excited, and kind of nervous about it too for some reason.

But anyway, because of how fast the trip is now approaching, I thought it would be fun to share with you guys some of the things (makeup related and otherwise), that I’ll be bringing with me in my travel bag.

Although I consider it more of a cosmetic bag then anything, let’s be real, the place we’re going to will be RIDICULOUSLY hot so I’m really not going to be wearing that much makeup; that being said, I’m also going to be using it to pack other forms of toiletries that I’m going to need over there.

HOWEVER, before we actually talk about the contents WITHIN the bag, let’s talk a little bit about the bag itself….

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The Travel Bag

The name of the brand where I got the bag from is called Beis, and was actually created by actress Shay Mitchell (some of you may predominantly know her as Emily Fields from Pretty Little Liars).

I actually recently stumbled upon this on her page, and I figure why not check out her website since I was going to be traveling soon as well and wanted/needed a nice, decent sized travel bag to hold not only my cosmetics, but possibly other things as well?

Sure enough, when I got on the site they had all sorts of things from duffel bags to back packs, to even cosmetic bags like the one shown below (that I ended up getting).

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I ended up settling on “The Cosmetic Case”. This bag in particular goes for $48, and comes in 2 different colors, beige and black. I decided on beige because it generally matches well with my suitcase too.

I ordered it on the 27th of February, it took about a week to officially ship, and then within 3-4 days I had it in my possession. So generally, it really wasn’t bad of a wait time at all.

I was SO excited when I finally received this in the mail, and also SO surprised at how big/deep it was. I mean it did look pretty spacious in the pictures on the website, but in person is always different, you know?

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Guys, it’s pretty freakin’ big for a makeup bag (in a good way, I’m not at all complaining about it). Plus, as soon as you open it, you see that there’s this part that goes inside the bag that’s meant to hold any and all of your makeup brushes! I won’t be carrying that many brushes, so either I’ll leave that part out of the bag, or I’ll see if I can fit other things in there (see below).

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Another thing that I thought was cool , was the fact that on the other side of where the brushes are held, there’s a little zipper/separate compartment to be able to fit other things. BUT, when you first open it, that compartment is actually holding a FULL-SIZED mirror, and the mirror is pretty good too (see below).

Now, it’s a pretty large-sized mirror, so I don’t know if it’s something I’m actually going to be using and/or needing, BUT it’s always good to have a mirror somewhere in your bag, no?

I’ll leave their site linked here if you guys wanted to check it out, which I 100% recommend that you do!

Now for more of the actual FUN stuff……

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What’s Actually Going In The Bag?!

So, obviously as is in the title of the bag itself (cosmetic case), I’m going to be putting my makeup in there; but as you can see from the size of the bag, it’s big enough that if I pack all my stuff right, I think I’ll be able to fit as much of my general travel-sized toiletries in there as possible as well.

As I said earlier, where we’re going for our trip is going to be ridiculously hot and I won’t be wearing and/or bringing that much makeup, so because of that, I think I’ll start with what makeup I’m going to be bringing.

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* I am well aware that some of these brushes and my beauty blender need to be washed before I go, which I will be doing in the next few days, but I’ve been so busy getting things together that I haven’t really had the time to…*

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Nothing TOO special or different from my day-to-day makeup looks I tend to do, but there are a few new products I’m going to be bringing and trying out while I’m over there *hint hint Fenty Beauty Body Lava 😉 *

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In the picture shown above is some of the toiletries and medicines I’m bringing with us. Now, the likelihood that we’re going to be using and/or needing all or ANY of these things are slim, BUT I’d rather be safe then sorry. You really never know what could happen, especially when you go out of the country. I read up a lot on the place we’re going to and many, many people, websites, etc. suggested to bring a lot of these things, so again, rather be safe then sorry.

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And finally, this is what the general bag looks like when it’s completely packed. Obviously not every single thing that I showed before was able to fit, BUT, a good portion of it did which is pretty great in itself; and I didn’t even have any issues zippering it up, so that was a win/win!

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I hope you guys enjoyed this post and are as excited as we are to see how this trip plays out!! I don’t know or think that I will have enough time to put up another post before the trip, and will not be able to post anything until after we get back, so please bare with me.

BUT if you are not following me on social media, be sure to do so to keep up to date with everything we’re up to while on our trip. I’m going to try to post regularly on that. All of my social media information is always shown at the bottom of my posts, as well as linked on the home page of my site.

Let me know if there are any particular posts you guys would want to see in reference to the trip, and I’ll be sure to make them happen! 🙂

As always, thank you guys so much for reading; please follow, like, share and comment and I’ll see you guys when we get back! 😀

-Xoxo, LeoGirl ❤

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Confidence Is Key

You guys, if there’s any 2 things that I can take away from 2018 thus far, it’s that 1. if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will and 2. confidence is EVERYTHING.

2 majorly important things, that which are not at all easy to achieve for some. In fact, for some (many…..most?), these 2 things are things that take YEARS to master.

You need to believe in yourself in order for other people to, and not in a “you have to please and/or prove anything” to them type of way, but more of in a “oh he/she is not only serious about what it is they’re doing, but they’re also owning the heck out of it,” sort of way. There’s a major difference.

I’ve learned that doing that (along with your actual work obviously) is going to end up not only attracting more people to you as a person, but also whatever work it is that you’re trying to put out there to the world.

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As I said, I’m fully aware that confidence like this doesn’t happen overnight, in fact, it’s something that may take YEARS for you or anyone to perfect, but that’s okay.

People are going to talk regardless if you’re succeeding or failing at whatever it is that you want to do with your life. There are ALWAYS going to be haters, critics, and people who just generally don’t care about the work you’re putting out into the world. Which, for a long time it’s going to suck to see, but as long as YOU know that you’re working hard and being the best version of you and your work possible, that is ALL that should truly matter.

Although most times it’s easier said than done, you need to do your best to ignore any and all negativity that may be blocking you from doing your best work. Being insecure about putting yourself out there and receiving negative or no feedback at all can be REALLY discouraging, that’s normal, but you can’t just let those feelings take over and win.

Take those feelings and use them as motivation to add fuel to your fire to want to do TEN TIMES better than you were before, because if you keep trying your hardest to put that all aside and putting your best work out there, I promise that slowly but surely you will begin to see results.

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I’m not an expert, and I’m obviously still learning with each day that passes, but I’ve dealt with this SO many times, so speaking from experience, take it from me. I’ve been doing this blogging thing for a little over a year now, and similar to doing YouTube, sometimes it gets REALLY hard, harder than people may think. That’s because there are so many bloggers out here trying to make it and trying to do what I’m doing that it gets discouraging to see sometimes when I don’t get likes, views, comments or followers on my post.

I used to take it SO hard, to the point where it would stop me from wanting to write altogether, and don’t get me wrong, every once in a while it still happens, but after reading various bloggers’ advice/tips on how to see results and get better with your blog, PLUS this book I read (which I’ll speak more about later on) and other things on the internet, I gained my confidence back and learned a few things…

  1. How do I ever expect to achieve a fraction of the dreams/goals I have for myself if I get discouraged and just stop altogether? I told myself that although it may be a little difficult right now, that I knew what I was capable of with my writing and reminded myself about what exactly I wanted to do and get out of this one day.

And 2. Although there may be a lot of people with similar blog themes, topic ideas, etc., no one will EVER have the exact same way of thinking, writing and/or expressing their thoughts as me. Everyone, including myself, is different in how they do things believe it or not. We may all have similar ideas, but we express them in unique ways. NO TWO PEOPLE ARE THE SAME!!

Obviously I specified these examples for my specific case with writing and my blog, but it’s equally the same with any other field as well. It’s all about finding what you’re good at, making yourself stand out from the rest somehow, and just perfecting it from there. It IS do-able!

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I mentioned earlier that there was a book I read that actually REALLY helped me gain some of my confidence back. The name of the book is “YOU ARE A BADASS; HOW TO STOP DOUBTING YOUR GREATNESS AND START LIVING AN AWESOME LIFE,” by: Jen Sincero. It’s actually a pretty popular book, so many of you may already have seen/heard of it before and I’ve actually spoken about it before in my ‘Top 5 Favorite Motivational Books’ post (which I’ll leave linked here if you guys wanted to check it out), but if you haven’t, I HIGHLY recommend that you pick it up.

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Just based off of the title alone, I think it’s self-explanatory, but it really is a great and super-relatable book. Anyone that’s read it before I’m sure can vouch for that. It’s also not a complicated book at all, in fact, it’s full of quotes, examples and personal stories from the author that really help to break it down for anyone that may be lacking the confidence in themselves to succeed and conquer their dream(s).

I’m attaching the link for you guys here to be able to purchase it. I also am posting a snippet of it for you guys to determine for sure if you’d be interested and want to actually buy it.

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Rome wasn’t built in a day and hard-work never goes unnoticed (believe it or not). Believe in yourself, keep working hard no matter what and own the shit out of whatever it is that you’re most passionate about and want to do and watch the positive outcome for it happen sooner rather than later.

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I hope this was helpful to someone out there to some extent, if not I hope you at least thought it was an interesting read. Thank you guys so much for taking the time out to actually read my stuff. Please follow, like, share and comment, and I’ll see you guys in my next post!

-Xoxo, Leo Girl ❤

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