6 Things I Want To Let Go Of This Year

Happy Monday everyone!

I hope you guys all had a great weekend and are having a great start to the first week of March!

For today’s post, as you read from the title, I want to talk about things that I’m trying to let go of this year (as many others may end up agreeing with me on). I realize we’re already 3 months into the new year, but better late then never for coming to certain realizations like this, right?

A question I want you to ask yourselves before I begin: How do you expect this year or any day/month/year now or in the future to be different if you don’t take it upon yourself to make the necessary changes and remove as much of the negativity in your life and/or the things that tend to weigh you down in life as possible?

I’ve thought a lot about all of the things I’m going to talk about, and none of them are necessarily ‘ground-breaking’, but I think they are all definitely necessary for being able to live your best, negativity-free life (to some degree anyway).

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These are in no particular order:

  1. Grudges

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You gotta end up asking yourself what does holding a grudge really end up doing for you?

I’ve learned that holding grudges against people/things does absolutely nothing for you other than add unnecessary stress, anger and negativity to your life. Sure it may seem logical and justified in the moment of the issue, but eventually all you can and should do is try addressing the situation as best as you can and just let it go regardless of the outcome. Life is too short to be living with anger in your heart and stressing yourself out with unnecessary grudges.

2. My Aggression

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I have a tendency to be aggressive when I’m trying to be vocal about certain things I want and/or am feeling, and it’s not necessarily because I’m an angry person, but more because I feel like at times I’m not actually being understood or REALLY heard in what I’m trying to express to the person at the time.

I’ve learned that although it may come off as aggressive, it’s more just the fact that I can be really passionate when I’m trying to express myself and unfortunately, more often than not, it tends to come off as aggressive (I mean hello, I’m a freakin’ Leo).

I’m learning to slowly but surely let that go and train myself to think before I speak a little more and realize that there are ways to express how you feel without seeming like you’re angry all the time.

3. My Shyness

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This one is hard because it’s literally something that I’ve dealt with my ENTIRE life. Being shy isn’t necessarily a bad thing in general, but when it comes to the work that I’m trying to do and the goals I’m trying to accomplish, it can definitely hold me back (as it unfortunately has before).

I’m sure that I’ve missed out on SO many networking events and opportunities due to my shyness, which really sucks, but this is why I’m trying to break out of this in 2020. I’m trying to put myself out there and be more transparent with you guys, and go to more networking events to meet more people and connections to hopefully move me further along in my career endeavors. This is definitely a goal of mine this year, so hopefully I can get it done.

4. Procrastination

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Seriously, if I had a dollar for every single time I’ve EVER procrastinated on my work, school stuff, house chores, etc., I would be freakin’ rich right now. I will say this, however that although I don’t necessarily take pride in always being such a procrastinator, I had found that (and yes this “theory” was tested SEVERAL times before), pushing to do any sort of work until the last minute, more often than not always ended up making me throw out my absolute best work in any type of papers, projects, etc. Of course now I’m no longer in school so really the only things that tend to get pushed back are things like cooking, cleaning and/or laundry, but nonetheless!

Ultimately this is a habit that I’m trying my hardest to get rid of altogether, because it really does just tend to hold you back and throw you off track.  I understand being and feeling lazy in certain instances, people feel like that all the time, including myself, but I promise you that in almost anything and EVERYTHING, it’s better all around for you to get shit done early and/or as soon as possible to get it out of the way so that you won’t have to worry about it later AND you can make time to do other things that you’ve been wanting to do.

5. Unsupportive/Fake People

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Read this back again if you need to because it’s definitely one of the most important ones.

I have a ‘toxic trait’ where I’m so prone to cutting people off without thinking twice about it recently, and that goes for anyone, whether your family or friends, I have no issue with doing it for anyone. And it’s nothing personal, I just feel like I’ve gotten to an age where I have no time for people or things that aren’t doing anything to motivate, support or just generally be there for me. This is why I always say that my circle is SO small, because it really is.

I feel like people tend to get it confused where they think support means they constantly have to talk about, watch, or promote your work, business, etc., and it’s really not like that at all. Support can be any one of those things, at any given time. It doesn’t have to be ALL the time and it doesn’t HAVE to be every single thing that I put out there, but once in a while, support especially when you know the person is just starting out and can use all the support they can get, really does mean the world. Support can be shown in a variety of ways like reposting your name/video/song/business, etc., giving feedback to you about your work (whether it’s publicly on social media OR privately via DM and/or text), it can be simply asking you how your work is doing in general whether they actually know what you’re doing or not, or even just little words of encouragement every so often, the list can really go on and on, .

And I’ve found that there are SO many people that tend to claim they’re “friends” or “supporters” of mine but I’ve never heard a single word from them about ANY of my work. Also, let’s not confuse what I’m saying, I’m not hurt or anything because of this, I’ve learned to make my peace with the fact that that’s just how some people are and they would rather support absolute strangers as opposed to supporting people they actually know, but this is why I think it’s just easier for me and my well-being to cut them off altogether; or at the very least, just not trust them with knowing important/valuable information about the kind of work I’m doing.

6. Doubts

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I tend to struggle with doubting myself and my work a lot. I know the kind of work I’m capable of doing and putting out, but there’s still always something in me every so often that manages to let doubtful thoughts slip throughout my mind.

Having doubts about anything can be SUCH an annoying and shitty thing because it ends up making you second guess every little thing/detail imaginable to the point where you may not even want to put out what you’ve been working on for days/weeks/months, etc.

I’m learning to slowly let go of all of my doubts because I feel like as long as I’m doing things right, I have pure intentions and know what I’m trying to make the outcome out to be, then everything else will end up falling into place the way that it’s meant to be.

There is no use stressing about doubts and/or the outcome of things when you have no real control over how things are going to turn out. You gotta leave it up to God (or whatever superior being you believe in) and trust that He/She will not steer you wrong, and what’s meant to be, will always find it’s way.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this post. If you did, please make sure to drop a like and make sure that you’re following my blog to stay up to date whenever I post! Thank you guys so much for reading and I’ll see you guys in the next one.

-Xoxo, LeoGirl ❤

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RANT: Catcalling

Let’s start with the obvious which is, “what exactly is catcalling?”

For those of you that don’t know and/or maybe have just not heard the term, catcalling is making a whistle sound, shouting or generally making a comment of a sexual nature to a woman passing  by. So ultimately, when you’re being harassed in the street by a guy or group of guys….

You may be thinking, why are you writing an entire blog post on something like this? And the answer is pretty simple actually, it’s because in the day and age that we live in, it’s something that needs to be brought to light and spoken about more then what it actually is.

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For those of you that don’t know, I’m from the South Bronx, born and raised, where things like catcalling occur on a regular day to day basis. Obviously I know that this is something that happens universally, but I can and will only speak based off of my own personal experiences, which is what I’m doing right now.

This is a topic I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. It’s one that I’ve gone back and forth about writing for a while because it’s another one of those controversial topics. The only difference is, I’ve actually been a victim of this myself, for many, many years…since I was about 13-14 years old….I’m 23 about to be 24 in a few months….

How crazy is that to think about?

Granted, it’s not something that I’ve had to deal with every single day of my life, and obviously there are some girls/women that probably have it MUCH worse then me and others, but nonetheless I think it’s something that needs to get addressed more.

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Now to some, it may just look or seem as if a girl is ONLY getting complimented by a guy, right? And for some guys/men that IS actually all that is, but for others, it’s so much more…For others, it’s more along the lines of sexual harassment then anything else.

I can remember being MUCH younger, maybe early teens, having grown ass men whistle at me, etc. and my mom simply telling me to ignore it and brush it off. Now, I’m not at all blaming her for anything, because in hindsight, I can understand why she told me to do that, but to the same extent, I could never understand how grown ass men like that, who were old enough to be an uncle of mine, or even my FATHER, was trying to hit on me like that??? I mean I was ultimately a little girl compared to them.

And Lord knows things like that have really only gotten worse with time unfortunately. Some girls (including myself) can’t even walk down certain streets without having to worry about whether or not that’s going to happen and whether or not it’s even going to be one or several guys. ON TOP of worrying about to what extent exactly they’ll take it to.

This kind of harassment has gotten to a certain point for some girls/women that not only will the guys curse them out for getting ignored or rejected, but some of them actually take it to the extreme of actually getting violent with these poor girls, and either  beating, or even worse, killing them.

Thank God it has never gotten to that extent for me or anyone that I know, but it does STILL happen and it’s DISGUSTING. It’s ridiculous that girls/women have to not only watch their backs in the streets nowadays, but also have to be ‘extra’ careful in the things they wear for fear that it may draw too much attention to them??? And not even really watch what they wear because it’s to the point that girls can look bummy as hell and it still happens to them.

Women should be able to wear (to some extent) whatever the hell they want that makes them feel pretty, sexy and/or confident without having to worry about whether or not they’re going to get harassed because of it. It’s honestly disgusting and sad that that’s the kind of would we’re living in at this point.

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I’ve realized that I’ve become such an aggressive person because of things like that now, which isn’t necessarily good, but it is what it is I guess at this point.

Like, instead of simply ignoring it the way that a lot of people suggest for me to do, I end up feeding into it and them in a sense, by flipping them off in the streets when they try to talk to me, or cursing them out for staring so hard and/or trying anything, etc.

And I’m not at all suggesting for anyone reading this to do that, but that’s just where I’m at with this kind of situation, personally, from how “normal”, annoying and frustrating it’s become….

I suppose there’s no one real ‘purpose’ for this post other than me wanting to be able to rant about this thing weighing on my mind heavy lately, and the final 2 thoughts that pop into my head:

  1. Ladies…be careful out there. You’re all beautiful, and as much as we want to be treated as equals and be as free as possible, unfortunately in the day and age that we live in, we’ve got to be extra careful and safe out there in the world. So, stay pretty and please stay safe.
  2. Men….ya’ll gotta do better (not all men, but the dirtbags out there preying on little girls and grown women). Learn how to treat a woman, and learn how to respect them and their decisions if they’re not interested and/or decide to ignore you.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this post. I haven’t done a rant/random rambles sort of post in SUCH a long time, so it felt pretty good to finally get one out there again haha.

Let me know in the comments below and/or through social media your guys’ thoughts on cat-calling. Have you experienced it before? How did you deal with it? etc. I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on it.

As always, thank you guys so much for reading. Please like, follow, share and comment and I’ll see you guys in my next post!

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PS: I really am sorry about being so M.I.A. lately on the blog. Although it’s happened a few times in recent months, you guys have no idea how much I hate doing that and making (what feels like) excuses to you guys about why I’m not posting. There’s just been a lot going on, and that’s no excuse, but I’m doing my best to get back on track and keep pushing through to continue to be as consistent as possible with you guys.

-Xoxo, LeoGirl ❤

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